Are Marriage and Family Life The Causes Of Your Stress?
For some, there comes a point in their married life when they feel that they can't take it anymore? This may be part of the midlife crisis that they are going through. After all, midlife crisis is a form of stress in itself.
So when one begins to entertain the thought of not being able to stand their family anymore, what can be done? Is there just too much fingerpointing that it's already become sickening? Certainly some kind of decisive action needs to be taken and the choice of what to do next can be the difference between adding to the national divorce rate or saving a relationship which you initially agreed to, for better or for worse.
So when one begins to entertain the thought of not being able to stand their family anymore, what can be done? Is there just too much fingerpointing that it's already become sickening? Certainly some kind of decisive action needs to be taken and the choice of what to do next can be the difference between adding to the national divorce rate or saving a relationship which you initially agreed to, for better or for worse.
Taking decisive action in itself can be a painful task especially when the consequences may affect the lives of people you love. Now if you notice, what I'm saying here is "people you love" and not "people you once loved". If it is already at the point that your family members are people you once loved, it means you have already decided and your decision is that you don't want them to be part of your life anymore.
There's nothing wrong with that. If you feel that in order to rescue yourself from your crisis means parting with these people then you are entitled to that. From there, you can either live the rest of your life alone or maybe find another partner to start another family with. The question is what will prevent the painful episode from happening again?
However if you still feel that your family members are still the ones that you love, then it's just a matter of clearing your head a bit and going about straightening out whatever is not right. And to go about this, you need forget about all the fingerpointing for a while and just recall a few things from your past.
People easily tend to forget things. That's alright, we're only humans and it does happen because we're getting older
. The first thing to remember is the day when we were asked by the priest or pastor or judge if we did accept our partner to be our lawful spouse for better or for worse. If you can still remember your exact answer and if you can remember that it was not made under duress, then you're on the right track.
The second thing to recall are the days when you still understood that married life means being able to give and take. This point is quite important because some people just do not understand that being married entails a lot of sacrifices, unless of course you are filthy rich. Then you can have as many menservants and maids as you want, all at your beck and call and doing all your chores for you. But for the rest of us normal folks, marriage is an understanding that responsibilities are shared. If you don't understand or accept this, then you definitely have no business being married.
After having refreshed your memory and reacquainting yourself with the sacrifices needed in a marriage, ask yourself if at your current age, it is still acceptable for you to make the necessary sacrifices in order to make the marriage work. If you answer positively to this, then that pretty much means your head is clearer and we've achieved the purpose of putting you in a more positive and hopefully objective frame of mind because it should help you carry out the final step.
The reason for the bitterness up until this point is all the fingerpointing and not wanting to accept responsibilities for what is going wrong. And since you've already reminded yourself that it takes two in order for the marriage to work, then accept the fact that the failures are as much your fault as it is your spouse's. It doesn't matter who was more wrong, it's irrelevant.
Accept your faults then open them up to your spouse. Tell your spouse that it's time to put an end to all the bitterness and rancor and that the family is at stake. If you do still love your family, don't be ashamed to tell them so. And because you're now tackling the problem with a clearer head, you'll know exactly what to say. Before long, it'll be like the 900 pound ape has been taken off your back.
One less source of stress so you can enjoy your midlife more.
There's nothing wrong with that. If you feel that in order to rescue yourself from your crisis means parting with these people then you are entitled to that. From there, you can either live the rest of your life alone or maybe find another partner to start another family with. The question is what will prevent the painful episode from happening again?
However if you still feel that your family members are still the ones that you love, then it's just a matter of clearing your head a bit and going about straightening out whatever is not right. And to go about this, you need forget about all the fingerpointing for a while and just recall a few things from your past.
People easily tend to forget things. That's alright, we're only humans and it does happen because we're getting older
. The first thing to remember is the day when we were asked by the priest or pastor or judge if we did accept our partner to be our lawful spouse for better or for worse. If you can still remember your exact answer and if you can remember that it was not made under duress, then you're on the right track.The second thing to recall are the days when you still understood that married life means being able to give and take. This point is quite important because some people just do not understand that being married entails a lot of sacrifices, unless of course you are filthy rich. Then you can have as many menservants and maids as you want, all at your beck and call and doing all your chores for you. But for the rest of us normal folks, marriage is an understanding that responsibilities are shared. If you don't understand or accept this, then you definitely have no business being married.
After having refreshed your memory and reacquainting yourself with the sacrifices needed in a marriage, ask yourself if at your current age, it is still acceptable for you to make the necessary sacrifices in order to make the marriage work. If you answer positively to this, then that pretty much means your head is clearer and we've achieved the purpose of putting you in a more positive and hopefully objective frame of mind because it should help you carry out the final step.
The reason for the bitterness up until this point is all the fingerpointing and not wanting to accept responsibilities for what is going wrong. And since you've already reminded yourself that it takes two in order for the marriage to work, then accept the fact that the failures are as much your fault as it is your spouse's. It doesn't matter who was more wrong, it's irrelevant.
Accept your faults then open them up to your spouse. Tell your spouse that it's time to put an end to all the bitterness and rancor and that the family is at stake. If you do still love your family, don't be ashamed to tell them so. And because you're now tackling the problem with a clearer head, you'll know exactly what to say. Before long, it'll be like the 900 pound ape has been taken off your back.
One less source of stress so you can enjoy your midlife more.
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